


Bittersweet Symphony

by benaddicted4life (whosgirl22)



Category: British Actor RPF, Doctor Who RPF, Sherlock (TV) RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blowjobs, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Fluff, M/M, Smut, alllll the smut, cheating...sort of not really, emotional cheating...again sort of not really, fluff angst and smut, handjobs, it's allll consensual I promise, showersex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 17:56:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1787902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whosgirl22/pseuds/benaddicted4life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benedict and Olivia are 'taking a break', which leaves Ben flying solo at the <i>Evening Standard</i> Theatre Awards, where he runs into old pal David Tennant. Not wanting to return home after the ceremony, they end up back at David's apartment. But are Ben's wandering tendencies and David's offers of a sympathetic ear and good whiskey merely platonic, or is there some deeper emotion that runs between these two men?</p><p>The first ever Tennantbatch fic (at least to my knowledge). Fluffy, sexy and angsty times ahead. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bittersweet Symphony

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iamshurlocked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamshurlocked/gifts), [fictioninmyheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictioninmyheart/gifts).



> I am an awful, despicable human being. WHHHYYYY DO I DO THISSS. Actually I know exactly why - it's because these two idiots let themselves get photographed in poses like [this](http://davidtennanttreat4today.blogspot.com/2013/07/david-tennant-treat-4-today-for-friday_12.html?m=1). I mean, the slash fic practically writes itself. I tried to get the year and current events right but I probably fucked that up. Sorry. OBVIOUSLY this is a work of fiction and has no bearing on said actors' sexual preferences or practices. Or personal lives. Oh god. I blame Tumblr user [iamshurlocked](http://iamshurlocked.tumblr.com) for encouraging me to do this. And whoever that anon was who suggested it in the first place. *runs and hides* 
> 
> Also this has not been Brit-picked, so forgive my horrible Americanisms and unforgivable transgressions when it comes to, well, everything. I don’t even know if you’re allowed to drink before awards ceremonies, but for the sake of this story, I’m going to say YES. On that note, time to hit the tequila bottle myself. Bye.
> 
> PS A big thank you to [Chris](http://sirwilliamsherlockholmes.tumblr.com) for putting up with my nattering about the story and reading it over for me tonight. Thanks hon! xx

_Present day_

They don’t talk about it, when they see each other. Not for any particular reason, although it is true that David is married with kids now. Mostly it’s because Ben doesn’t like to think about that period in his life, when his relationship with Olivia was going through a rough patch and his mind wasn’t exactly in the right place. There were a lot of things he did, words that were spoken and actions that were taken, that he’s not proud of. Still. That doesn’t mean what happened that night wasn’t memorable. Far from it, in fact. And there are days when he looks back and wonders what could have been, if they had gotten the timing down right.

_November 2008_

Ben’s a bit nervous, standing in the foyer of the Royal Opera House, although he has no real reason to be. It’s not like he’s really doing anything special here. Friends and colleagues mill around him, making small talk; everyone is busy waiting for the theatre doors to open, a signal for the start of this year’s _Evening Standard_ Theatre Awards. It is another event that he doesn’t really like coming to, but is obligated to attend. Good for the image and career, his publicist says. He sighs. He’s sure it is, but in all honesty he’d rather be at the pub, trying to wipe the memory of why Olivia couldn’t attend this particular evening’s soiree from his mind.

The worst part about the whole situation, besides his sense of hopelessness, is that he’s not even sure why they’ve been fighting lately, or what drove her to make the demands she’s made. Is it his schedule? Hers? The fact that they’ve been together for nearly a decade and marriage still isn’t on the table? Whatever it is, it makes him feel guilty and sad. They’ve had their disagreements before, of course – it’s only normal for a couple in a nearly decade-long relationship to argue. But in the last few months, things have begun to shift toward the “there’s no turning back from this” side of the spectrum, and he doesn’t know if there’s anything that can be done to fix it, or even if he wants to. _Take a break,_ he thinks, and it’s incredible how quickly his heart sinks at the thought. _She wants to take a break._ Even as he fights against the idea, there’s a little part of him deep inside that can’t stop whispering about how this has been coming for a long time, that he shouldn’t be so surprised; this of course only serves to add to his current state of guilt. _Shake it off Ben_ , he tells himself sternly. _There will be plenty of time to worry about it later._ He scans the room for the bar; it is definitely time to get a drink.

“Benny!” a well-known Scottish voice calls, interrupting his visual wanderings. His eyes shift over to find a familiar face grinning at him, white teeth gleaming, brown eyes alight with the sort of warmth only available to old friends. Well, if it isn’t the Doctor himself. He smiles and reaches a hand out to clasp the elbow of the older man even as he pulls him in for a hug.

“David,” he says after a moment, leaning back to look up at the other man, but not letting go of him entirely. “How are you?”

David smiles, a bit tiredly. “Oh you know – same old, same old,” he replies, the Scottish burr a soothing balm to Ben’s ears. It’s a richness he’s always appreciated.

“How’s the end of Who treating you?” Ben had been a bit shocked when he’d heard the news of David’s retirement from the franchise, but it hadn’t surprised him overly much. David was not a man to stay in one place for long and there were always other projects to see to.

“About as well as you might expect,” the Scotsman laughs. “It’s been gratifying to know that I’ll be missed. And it’s not the end quite yet – we’ve still got specials to shoot and such. Gives me time to wrap my mind around the whole thing.”

Ben chuckles in agreement. “Well, they’re right – you will be missed,” he says. And he will be – Ben isn’t a huge follower of the show but he always watches the Christmas special with Mum and Dad and he has enjoyed David’s take on the time-traveling alien. The man is a talented actor.

“Thanks very much,” he beams, and there it is again, that blinding grin that has won over the entire country. He was even voted the Sexiest Man in the Universe by _The Pink Paper_ in 2006 (not that Ben pays that much attention to those sort of things). But standing in this close proximity to him, with his long, lean body shown to its best advantage in his well fitted suit, his brown hair artfully spiked, and the faintest hint of a rather enticing cologne echoing around his person, it’s not hard to see why he beat out the likes of Hollywood A-listers like Brad Pitt and more athletic men like David Beckham for the title. There’s a sort of sincerity and innocence to him, but there’s a wicked sense of playfulness too, and the combination is very attractive, especially when paired with those big brown eyes.

Ben suddenly realizes just how close he and David have been standing, and he shuffles back a few steps even as he drops his hand from where it’s been clasping a surprisingly muscled forearm. “So what brings you to the Royal Opera House this evening?” he asks quickly, attempting to move past the sudden possible awkwardness of the situation.

“Presenting the special editor’s award to the RSC,” David replies easily. If he’s discomforted it doesn’t show on his face and Ben can’t help but heave a silent sigh of relief. His close affection for his male friends has gotten him into trouble in the past, so he’s glad David doesn’t seem to be the type to take offense at any invasion of personal space. Then again, he’s a fairly big personal space invader himself, so it makes sense that he wouldn’t be offended by another's ingresses.

“Ahhh yes, I’d read that was going to be given out this year.” Ben is happy that the good work done by the Royal Shakespeare Company is going to be recognized – the entire group more than deserves it.

“To be honest, I’m quite excited to be handing it out,” David continues, lips quirking upward in a wry sense of recognition as how gauche he must sound. But that’s one of the things Ben has always appreciated; how despite his successes on television and the stage, David has still managed to retain that sense of self-deprecation and almost childlike wonder at the fact that he gets to do the things he does. It’s a feeling Ben shares himself, this love of the theatre, this wonder at how lucky he’s been, and it’s yet another reason to like this northerner standing in front of him.

“Well I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully,” Ben says with a fond smile.

“Thanks very much.” A pause as David looks him up and down, brown eyes twinkling in appreciation. “How about you then? You’re looking good – how’s it feel to be over thirty?”

Ben rolls his eyes. “I’m just fine thanks – how’s forty looking?” He knows perfectly well that David is only thirty-seven, but the gauntlet has been thrown down and he’s never been one to let a teasing remark pass him by.

“Not as good as thirty did,” chuckles David. He looks around. “Speaking of gorgeous people though, where’s your lovely Olivia? Off getting drinks I bet. I could do with a nice scotch myself.”

Ben can’t help the small grimace that flashes across his face before he gives a tight smile, and by the way David’s eyes widen slightly, he can see that it hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Olivia…couldn’t make it tonight, so I’m afraid it’s just me,” he replies, then huffs out a rather self-deprecating laugh. “I could do with a scotch myself, now that you mention it.”

David immediately loses the jocular attitude and claps a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry to hear that Ben,” he says, and absurdly, the warmth in his voice almost makes Ben tear up. Christ, and he hasn’t even started drinking yet.

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he says lightly. “Actually, I was just about to get a drink when you showed up; so what do you say to going over now? Unless you’ve got somewhere else to be, of course.”

“Nope,” David says cheerfully. “Seems like we’re both on our own tonight.”

Ben can’t stop the upward twitch his lips give at this announcement; it’s absurdly reassuring to know that David is in the same predicament he is. David catches this and gives an answering look, eyes crinkling. “Shall we?” he says. Ben nods his head and they turn and stride off in the direction of the bar.

“Two Bells, neat,” David tells the bartender as soon as they’re close enough to be heard. He turns to Ben, leaning casually against the bar, seemingly unmindful of how it might affect his grey pinstriped suit. “You know, if you want, after this whole pomp is over and done with, we could go out, properly. It’s been too long since we’ve done that."

Ben nods. It has indeed been too long. Last time was right after David had learned that he was about to become the Doctor. He and Ben shared a few mates from the theatre (honestly, everyone in the theatre crowd knew each other), plus Mark Gatiss was a mutual friend, having worked with David in Doctor Who and with Ben in Starter for Ten, and so they’d all gone out and gotten roaringly drunk off of Jameson. It had been quite a smashing time.

“That would be lovely,” he admits, and if there’s a part of him that is rejoicing because it means he won’t be going home directly after the ceremony, he chooses to ignore it to focus on the positive – spending time with a friend he hasn’t seen all that much lately. He needs a boy’s night out, desperately.

“Excellent,” David grins (it’s amazing, how often he does that), and Ben doesn’t even try to fight his own crooked smile from spreading across his face in return.

The bartender chooses that moment to interrupt, placing two tumblers down on the wooden surface in front of them. David is the first to break eye contact, pushing away and turning to face her. “How much?” he asks smoothly, pulling out a roll of notes from his inner suit coat pocket. He listens intently as the girl responds, peeling off several bills as she talks. “Here you go then” he says kindly, handing them over, and Ben doesn’t have to see the girl’s surprised look to know that he must have tipped quite well, despite it not being quite the thing. This is David Tennant after all – one of the kindest, most genuinely caring people Ben has ever met. He’s one of the most recognized and sought after men in Britain at the moment and yet has managed to escape the arrogance and pompousness of the well-known television stars, something for which Ben is only too thankful.

“Cheers” Ben says, reaching over to clink his glass with David’s before taking a sip. The alcohol burns a smooth path down his throat and into his stomach, its warmth curling around his gut quite satisfactorily.

“Ta,” David responds before taking a sip of his own drink. “Ah, now that hits the spot doesn’t it,” he says, and Ben can’t tell if the shiver that runs down his spine is a result from the way David exhales the first word or how inherently Scottish he sounds in that moment. He covers up his sudden nervousness with another sip of his own drink, hoping that his visceral reaction has gone unnoticed.

Judging by the lack of a reaction on David’s part, this seems to be the case. “Shall we?” he asks, gesturing toward the theatre doors with a nod of his head. Ben gives a short nod of agreement, and they move away from the bar to let some other desperate patrons through.

******

“Looks like we’ll be starting soon,” Ben remarks after a few minutes of standing and sipping in companionable silence. The crowds are starting to swirl around in the way that signals a change in venue.

David looks up from where he has been staring into his drink. “Right, looks like it,” he says, eyes shifting about the room. He glances back over at Ben and leans forward conspiratorially. “About time – I’m getting a bit impatient to get to the after-party.”

Ben snorts out a laugh. “Same. Why won’t this damn thing just get over and done with already?”

David laughs and finishes off what’s left in his glass. “Good question. Speaking of which, suppose I’d best get into position and all that.” He glances at his watch. “Damn it’s later than I thought. Would you mind very much taking our glasses back to the bar? I’ve got to get going.”

“Not at all,” Ben affirms, reaching out to grab the now empty glass clasped in David’s right hand. David smiles as he hands it over, his fingers brushing casually against Ben’s in the process.

“Thanks for making this such a pleasurable evening,” he says, and maybe it’s the glass of very fine scotch that Ben’s just imbibed, but the younger man can swear that David’s voice roughens on the word _pleasurable_.

“It’s, it’s no problem. Thank you for doing the same.” Ben’s voice catches and it’s all he can do not to blush. God he’s acting like a teenage girl. What is _wrong_ with him tonight? He’s a grown man of thirty-two, for Christ’s sake. “Right, I’ll see you afterwards then,” he continues, raising a hand. “Good luck with the speech and all.”

David smiles. “Ta. See you later.” He executes a swift turn and strides off into the theatre to find whomever it is he needs to talk to and Ben exhales slowly, trying to gather his composure. He’s strangely flustered and he can’t figure out why. It’s not like he’s had that much to drink. _You know why your heart is racing,_ his traitorous subconscious whispers. And deep down, he does. It’s the trace of something that’s been between him and David from the first time they met. But to give free rein to that deeply repressed idea would disastrous, especially now. Especially with the whole, complicated mess of an Olivia situation. _But she’s gone,_ the voice continues. _She’s done with you. She wants to see other people. So that’s what you should do too._

 _Shut it,_ he whispers back, but it’s a feeble excuse of a command, and all he gets for his troubles in an evil chuckle.“ Great now I’m cackling at myself,” he mutters as he heads back towards the bar. “Mature, Benedict.” The bartender gives him a smile as he places the empty glasses on the hard wooden surface. He smiles in return and then heads back to the theatre entrance. Despite the emotional turmoil, this is shaping up to be quite an interesting evening and he’s suddenly, traitorously glad Olivia picked tonight to define the uneasiness between them and suggest some time apart.

******

Post-awards ceremony finds Ben standing in the foyer again. He’s already grabbed his coat, and he would call David but his mobile’s died, a fact he can’t help kicking himself a bit for. They hadn’t been quite smart enough to arrange a rendezvous point beforehand, but he figures that where they’d been drinking is as good a place as any to wait. Thankfully David seems to be on the same page, because Ben hasn’t even been there five minutes before he hears a familiar Scottish voice exclaim, “There you are!” I thought you might be back here.” Ben looks up, smiling, to find David wearing a similar expression. He’s carrying his coat over one arm as well, a rather attractive black wool one, but judging by the splash of color peeking out of one of the pockets, his gloves are not so dignified.

“Sorry for the wait – I wasn’t sure where I should meet you. I tried your mobile but you didn’t answer, so I tried the coat check and then figured I’d come back here when I couldn’t find you there either.” David looks expectantly at Ben, who gives a short bark of laughter.

“You couldn’t reach me because this thing,” he holds up his phone, “is fucking deader than Winston Churchill.” He shakes his head ruefully. “My fault I suppose. I’m glad we were on the same page anyway.”

David nods. “Ready to hit the pub then? I drove my car here – I dunno what transportation you have but I’d be happy to give you a ride or whatnot.”

“Thanks,” Ben replies. “That works out well because I took a cab here. I would have driven the bike, but it’s a bit cold, to be honest.”

“Perfect,” says David and then they’re walking toward the doors, nodding at mutual friends as they pass. There’s a strange ball of excitement in Ben’s stomach, like he’s back on a first date, and it’s strange and a little bit wrong, but that’s just how it is and he can’t do anything to change it. So fuck it. Time to have some fun.

They stop before the doors to slip their coats and gloves on – and sure enough, just as Ben suspected, David’s gloves are fantastically patterned and colorful and not at all along the lines of the rest of his outfit. “Oi,” he warns, catching the look on Ben’s face just before Ben can open his mouth to comment. “These are the warmest mitts I own and it was bloody cold tonight, alright?”

It takes everything Ben has to stifle his laugh, but he manages to do so and even keep a fairly even tone as he responds, “I see.” As he himself has unwrapped and is now sporting a rather colorful scarf, he’s not really in any position to tease… and David knows it. “Let’s go then shall we?” he says, and gets a nod of agreement for his troubles.

“Follow me,” David says, and steps through the doors. Turning left, he strides ahead, and Ben follows obediently, content for now to let David lead the way. After about thirty seconds, David turns and motions for him to come forward. “What are you lollygagging for?” he asks, the grin evident in his voice as his breath ghosts in the chilly night air. “Come on, walk with me. You should know by now that I don’t bite unless I’m asked to.”

“Shut it,” Ben warns, but he’s smiling as he scoots up to David’s right side. They walk in companionable silence, their nearly evenly paced strides carrying them towards David’s car. Ben’s hands are clenched inside his gloves (it really is cold tonight) and stuffed inside his coat pockets for good measure, but it’s still not enough to stop the shudder that works its way down his back. “Brrr,” he comments, mostly to be obnoxious.

“How astute of you to comment,” and there, right on the combination of the vowel and the rolled t, is the reason that Ben finds David’s voice so sexy. People think that because he went to Harrow he’s a bit public school; they assume his having a good education means a sort of disdain for the so-called “lower accents.” How wrong they are. He loves them. Especially the Scottish ones. It’s a bit strange he knows, and it’s not something he admits to just anyone. David would probably laugh if Ben ever told him (so he never will) but it’s still a bit of a thrill to sit and just listen to David talk. God he is such a thirteen-year-old girl sometimes.

“Ben?” comes the questioning lilt when it becomes obvious that Ben has been too silent for too long. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah yeah fine,” he says hurriedly, brightly. “Just…thinking.”

He can hear the question before David voices it. “About Olivia?” And it’s soft and quiet and suddenly he’s glad that it’s dark outside, because he knows that if David could actually see his face right now, it would give far too much away.

“Yeah...” His voice trails off and he pauses, trying to find the right way to finish the thought. “You know,” he finally says, “I think I need more alcohol for this conversation.”

David chuckles, a little darkly. “Hear, hear.” He tilts his head toward Ben. “Look I have an idea – instead of going out and paying too much for mediocre booze, how about we just go back to my flat and drink expensive Scottish whiskey? That way we can get out of these clothes” – he gestures to his shiny dress shoes – “maybe put something a little more comfortable on, and just relax. We won’t have to worry about getting home either. Whaddaya say?”

Ben laughs. “You do realize that sounds like the biggest clichéd proposition of all time, don’t you?” Even in the soft half-glow of the streetlights, he can see the sheepish look that sweeps over David’s face, and so he quickly adds, “No, I’m kidding; actually, it sounds really great.” And the problem is, it really does. Maybe a little too great.

“Aha! Hello gorgeous!” David suddenly exclaims, causing Ben to jump about half a foot in the air.

“Jesus David, what the hell –“

“My car,” David replies happily, pointing at a silvery looking sedan parked on the curb. As they get closer, Ben’s mouth drops more and more open. He can’t believe what he’s seeing.

“You” – he turns to point an accusing finger at David – “you drive a, a SKODA!”

“Yep” David replies, and while it’s more resigned than proud, it is most definitely not sobbing, which is what Ben would be doing all the time if he owned a car like this.

“The Doctor drives a Skoda.” His tone is resigned, flat, disbelieving.

David unlocks the car with the turn of a key and opens the driver’s door before shifting to face Ben. “Yes he does and if you have a problem with that, well, then tough bollocks. Now” – and here the accent is more pronounced and by god if Ben doesn’t shiver because of it; “now“ – David continues – “are you going to get in or not?”

Ben walks around to get in on the passenger side. “If I must,” he sighs loudly, on principle, although now that he thinks about it, it’s not really that big of a deal. He can _hear_ David rolling his eyes.

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad.”

“Hmm if you say so,” Ben says, arching his brows and turning to look out his window.

“No, really, it’s been a good car to me.“ David is starting to get defensive now, and Ben feels a little bad. On the other hand, the teasing is too much fun to resist. He says nothing.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” David finally blurts out. “What is so bad about this car? I’m not going anywhere until you tell me.”

“Fine by me,” Ben replies evenly, lips twitching. He can hear David glaring.

“Alright then,” David huffs, and turns to buckle in. “Since you’re acting like such a child anyway, I had better tell you to buckle up,” he grumbles. Ben complies, grinning, as David turns on the car and pulls out into the street. A few moments pass before Ben feels the need to speak again.

“Hey David?”

“Yes dear?” Ben grins at the endearment, sarcastic though it is, as David continues speaking. “Ready to apologize for insulting my car, are we?”

“Uh, not quite,” Ben jokes, turning to face his driver. “I just wanted to properly say thanks. For, well, turning a shit evening into a decent one.”

“My pleasure.” And there it is, that goddamned _word_ again. “We haven’t even started properly drinking yet and already you’re getting sappy,” David teases, switching lanes.

“I wanted to say something now, while we’d both remember,” Ben comments wryly, and David lets out a peal of laughter.

“Good point,” he replies, still giggling a bit, and Ben can’t stop his own face from lighting up in response.

******

“Ah, here we are then,” David says, some moments later.

Ben looks out the window at a fairly respectable row of houses. Impressed, he turns to David. “Well this is a step up from the old flat.”

David shrugs. “What can I say? I got lucky.” He smiles. “Convenient, anyway.” He pulls up to the curb and puts the car in park. “Shall we?”

They get out of the car and David beeps it shut. Ben shivers at the change in temperature; at least this time around he won’t have to be outside very long. His hands aren’t cold anymore either, which is definitely something. He follows the skinny Scotsman up the steps to the door, shuffling back and forth to keep the blood flowing while David works his key into the lock.

“Here we go,” David comments, pulling the door open and gesturing for Ben to go in. He steps forward and David quickly follows him, closing the door as he passes. His fingers scrabble around near the doorframe until they find the light switch, which he proceeds to flip on. Ben blinks at the sudden onset of light.

“Ah much better,” David says, and Ben hums his agreement. He throws his colorful mittens on the table to their left and turns to hang his coat up on the hooks conveniently placed on the wall. “May I?” he asks, gesturing toward Ben.

“Oh yeah, thanks very much,” Ben replies, shrugging out of his coat and scarf and handing them over. He pulls his own gloves off to throw on the table, rubbing his hands together to bring a little of the circulation back.

“Right, so, first things first – time to get out of this monkey suit,” David says. He glances over at Ben, brow furrowed. “I should have some track bottoms and a tee or something that should fit you. Let me go change, see what I can find.”

“Oh I don’t know, David; I mean, you’re a bit of a twig – are you sure you’ll be successful?” Ben teases, eyes crinkling.

“Oi! Like you’re any better,” David shoots back with a grin. “Regardless, I’ll be right back.” He starts off down the hall, gesturing vaguely to his right as he goes. “Living room’s in there – go ahead and make yourself at home.”

Ben wanders in, surprised by how instantly comfortable he is. The room contains the usual sofa, TV and coffee table combination, but the colors and the slight clutter make it all seem rather homey. He makes his way over to the sofa, one hand loosening his bright blue tie as he walks, and drops onto the cushions with a groan. Leaning back, he manages to work the tie completely off before proceeding to toss it on the table that sits directly in front of him. The cuff links join soon after, and then it’s time to focus on the suit properly. He unbuttons the coat and shrugs it off, folding it and placing it over the back of the sofa. Bending over, he starts to unlace his shiny black shoes. Kicking them off feels like a victory and he can’t help the long sigh that escapes as he leans back into the sofa cushions once more. Much better. He closes his eyes. _Just til David gets back,_ he tells himself as the darkness overtakes him.

******

“Sleeping on me already?” a teasing Scottish voice asks, and Ben’s eyes snap open to find David standing in the doorway, clad in grey sweats and a Yoda tee, his hands clasped around a small stack of folded clothes. Ben chuckles.

“Not quite. Power napping.” David grins at this. “Nice shirt,” he continues, arching a brow. David snorts.

“I wish I knew if you were serious,” he says, shaking his head. “Anyway, here,” – he holds out the stack of clothes – “these should work. They’ve always been a bit big on me.”

Ben sits up and pushes himself into a standing position before walking over to grab the clothes. “Thanks very much friend.”

“Not a problem, really.” David turns and points down the hall, indicating a door on the left. “Bathroom’s there. You go change – I’ll make us some drinks. Bells sound good?”

“Divine,” Ben smiles, and heads down the hall to change.

******

He comes back to find David on the sofa, a tumbler full of pale amber liquid in front of him, with another sitting directly next to it. “Yours,” David says, looking up at the sound of Ben’s footsteps even as he gestures to the other glass. He continues to look at Ben, and for a fraction of a second, Ben can swear his eyes widen in appreciation at seeing Ben in his rather tight-fitting clothes.

“The clothes work then,” David continues mildly, his face expressionless, and Ben gives himself a mental scold for imagining that it would be anything else.

“They’re a bit tight, but yeah, overall much more comfortable than what I was wearing. Ta for that,” Ben replies. David has given him a pair of dark blue sweats and a white tee with Kermit the Frog on it, and they are rather nice. “Just one thing though,” Ben says as he moves to join the Scotsman on the sofa. “You’re thirty-seven fucking years old – isn’t that a bit old to own Kermit the Frog and Yoda shirts?” Secretly Ben finds it kind of adorable, but he can’t exactly say that, can he.

“Ben,” David begins seriously, looking him straight in the eye. “There is no such thing as being too old when it comes to buying wonky graphic tees.”

Their eyes lock and hold and Ben manages to last about ten seconds before he bursts out giggling, which of course makes David lose it as well, and suddenly they’re sitting there sniggering like teenage girls.

“Well then,” Ben finally gasps out. “There’s hope for me yet.” He calms himself down enough to grab a sip of his drink, and the rush of warm liquid down his throat is glorious. He holds up his glass to David’s. “A toast,” he says. “To friends and never outgrowing silly tees.”

“Cheers to that!” David enthuses, and clinks his glass against Ben’s before taking a swallow of his own. He sighs in satisfaction. “That really does hit the spot doesn’t it?”

“Indubitably,” Ben agrees. The silence that follows is companionable, and Ben finds himself relaxing back against the cushions and closing his eyes once more. Too soon though, his brain returns to thoughts of Olivia and it isn’t long before the earlier evening’s tension begins to creep back into his body. _No, Benedict, don’t think about that right now._ But the advice comes too late and it’s all he can do to keep the words from spilling forth in a heavy cascade. He lifts his head up slightly, opening his eyes just long enough to take another, lengthier sip of his scotch. What he’s about to say requires some Dutch courage. His eyes fall closed as he returns to his lounging position.

“Hey David?” he asks finally.

“Yeah Ben?” comes the soft response.

“What…made you and Sophie break up?” The words come out haltingly as Ben waits with bated breath for the reply.

“Hmmmm.” David pauses and then lets out a sigh. “ I…don’t know. Distance, I suppose. She was doing a lot of work in America, and I was busy here, and it just made us drift apart.” He sounds tired, and Ben feels a bit sorry for bringing it up.

“Yeah that happens I suppose. Still, I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

A hand reaches out to pat his knee and then retreats. “It’s okay.” Ben opens his eyes and turns to face David, who gives him a small smile. “No, really,” he continues. “It is. We had some great times together and if it had been meant to work out, it would have. Simple as that.” He takes another sip of his drink and looks at Ben expectantly, as if to say _alright your turn_. Ben gives a short laugh. _Well, here goes nothing,_ he thinks nervously, and opens his mouth to speak.

“Olivia and I” – and here he has to pause for a second to cover the lump in his throat – “well, we’re not doing well, as you might have gathered from my comments earlier.” David is watching him sincerely, those big brown eyes looking at him with compassion and understanding, but not pity, thank god. “And the worst part is, I don’t even know why, really,” Ben continues. “It’s true that we’ve been together for a long time now, but up until a few months ago, I thought we were doing fine.” David gives a sympathetic nod and reaches out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Sometimes when people have been together for a long time, they just change Ben,” he says. “And you two have been together longer than most.” Ben nods, and has to look down suddenly to cover the sheen of tears suddenly coating his vision. Crying now. Wonderful.

“Have you talked to her about it?” David asks after a few minutes.

“Yeah.” Ben’s reply is short and to the point. “And she wants to take a break.” He looks up at David again and gives a caustic laugh. “A _break_ David. As if we both don’t know that’s the first step in a break- _up_.” He raises his suddenly shaking hand holding his scotch to his lips and gulps down a full sip. “Christ.”

David shakes his head. “Christ,” he agrees, and takes a sympathy sip of his own.

“The worst part is,” Ben says bitterly, “the absolute worst part, is this sense that it’s my fault, that because my career has started to take off and hers hasn’t, I’m the one to blame for our drifting apart.”

“Oh come on Ben that’s ridiculous,” David says quickly. “There are plenty of other actors out there who manage to juggle both their careers and their relationships.” Ben shakes his head, unconvinced, and David points a stern finger at him. “Now you listen to me Benedict Cumberbatch,” he says. “It is _not_ your fault. I know you. I know how hard you work at whatever you’re involved in, whether that be acting projects or relationships or whatever. And if there’s something the matter between you and Olivia, it is nobody’s fault. Because sometimes things just don’t work out, no matter how badly we may want them to, or how much we thought they would when we first started. And that’s just a fact of life.”

Ben grimaces but inside he feels a little lighter. Maybe David is right. Maybe this discontent between him and Olivia is for the best. It could be good for them to take some time apart, get to know themselves again. It’s been years since he’s been single, after all; years since he’s had the freedom to actually act on attractions felt towards others.

“Thanks David,” he finally replies, with a tiny quirk of his lips. “That helps.”

“Good,” David replies with a satisfied smile. “Now,” he continues, looking down at his nearly empty glass, “I seem to be nearly out of whiskey.”

Ben glances down to find his nearly empty as well. “So do I,” he says, surprised.

“Time to fix that,” David says seriously. “We came here to get smashed didn’t we? Enjoy the single life, and all that.”

“So we did, and so we shall,” Ben laughs. “No time for maudlin discussions when there’s drinking to do.” David laughs as well, and reaches for Ben’s glass, his fingers definitely lingering as he takes the glass from Ben’s hand. _Well then,_ thinks Ben a bit dazedly. _Heellloo bachelorhood._

******

Four glasses later, and things have begun to get a bit hazy. Ben’s not entirely sure, but it may be that he and David are sitting entirely too close together. He can’t really bring himself to care though, because David smells really good. Like, exceedingly good. Also, his arm is resting on the back of the sofa, nearly around Ben’s shoulders. And that’s good too.

“Ben -” David says, slurring over his words a bit. “Do you ever wonder“ – but whatever he is about to say will have to wait, because he suddenly hiccups and promptly turns bright red.

“David,” Ben replies, then has to giggle, because David just _hiccupped_ and is _blushing_.

“Shut it,” David warns. “This is serious.” Ben nods, and attempts to keep a straight face, lips pressed firmly together. David looks at him suspiciously for a moment before sighing and starting again. “Do you ever wonder,” and here he stops again, looking a bit unsure.

“Wonder what love?” Ben studies David’s face curiously, wondering what it is that can make this normally confident man so nervous (and shit shit shit, where had the love come from).

“…If maybe we made a mistake when we decided to date only women,” David mumbles, looking down at his glass.

 _Oh my,_ Ben thinks. He swallows, heart suddenly racing. “I don’t know,” he replies honestly. “I guess I’ve never really thought about it.”

David covers his face with a long-fingered hand. “Oh god, forget I said anything,” he groans.

“No!” Ben exclaims. David looks up at him sharply and Ben fiddles with his glass, eyes shifting nervously. “I mean, I have nothing against the idea of dating men,” he clarifies. “It’s just…I was with Olivia for so long that I never had any freedom to, uh, explore the possibility.” His eyes finally come back from wandering around the room to rest on David’s face and what he sees there makes him catch his breath. There’s a bit of embarrassment still, but earnestness as well, and what can only be described as hope. _Hope._ Suddenly everything becomes blindingly clear and Ben shakes his head, wondering how he could have been so _stupid._ Slowly, his eyes still fixed on David’s, he reaches out to pluck the nearly empty glass of whiskey from the other man’s grasp, which he then promptly sets down on the table. His other hand creeps up to cup that strong jaw, and David closes his eyes, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows nervously.

“How long?” Ben whispers.

David gives a self-deprecating laugh. “Years?” he says, eyes still closed. “I’ve lost track.”

“Why did you never say anything?” Ben whispers back, heart pounding, his fingers tingling with adrenaline.

“Like you said,” and here David finally opens his eyes and meets Ben’s gaze, “there was Olivia.” He shakes his head, the movement smooth under Ben’s fingertips. “And I didn’t want to be _that_ bloke, the one who pines after the straight man in a committed relationship. So I got on with my life, dated other people. But they never seemed to stick.” He huffs out a shaky breath and looks down at his lap before his eyes sweep up to meet Ben’s again. His face takes on an earnest, determined expression. “But hey, I know you’re going through a rough time right now and I don’t want do anything to confuse you even more so how about you ignore this conversation and we’ll stay friends and it’s fine, it’s all fi-“

Ben lunges forward and crushes his lips against the other man’s, cutting off his speech before it can get anymore ridiculous. David stiffens in surprise, and then pulls back a fraction to glance worriedly at Ben.

“ _Benedict_ ,” he breathes, the name hopeful and despairing all at once. He looks a bit shocked. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” His brown eyes are wide and he’s panting slightly, pulse jumping in the side of his neck.

Ben looks up at him, at this man who is so good and honest and would choose even now to do whatever he thought was best for Ben’s well-being. “David,” Ben replies softly, “I think this is an _excellent_ idea,” and then his lips are back on David’s, right where they belong.

David hesitates a fraction of a second, then sighs in defeat as Ben continues to caress his lips. His arm drops from the back of the sofa to curl around Ben’s shoulders, bringing him closer, as he lets out a low groan that manages to reverberate throughout Ben’s entire body. Ben moans in response and deepens the kiss, parting his lips to lick his way into the other man’s mouth. David tastes of whiskey and smells like sin and it’s intoxicating and delicious and Ben thinks dazedly that he probably will never ever get enough. He moves the hand that’s been cupping David’s face up to tangle his fingers into that glorious mess of hair, kneading and sliding through the dark strands even as David slides his other arm around Ben’s waist, bringing him even closer. Ben continues to massage that gorgeous scalp even as he lifts the edge of David’s tee to run a large hand up his torso, ghosting over the strong planes of his chest, until finally he comes to rest on one smooth shoulder, fingers caressing and cataloguing. David moans again, and proceeds to do some caressing of his own, working an equally long-fingered hand under Ben’s tee to knead his lower back while continuing to attack Ben’s mouth, his tongue entangling with Ben’s in a clash for dominance. He pulls away for a brief second, returning with a playful nip to the corner of Ben’s mouth, and Ben replies in kind, biting and nibbling on David’s surprisingly full bottom lip. David grins against his mouth and slides his arm from where it has been clasping Ben’s shoulders down to join the one on his lower back. He digs his fingers into the spaces between Ben’s vertebrae and kneads deeply, and Ben moans again because dear god, that feels insanely good.

David moves his hands down and out from the base of Ben’s spine to clasp onto his hips, leaning away toward the arm of the sofa until he’s nearly horizontal while pulling Ben up and over to lie on top of him, and oh, this is definitely what was needed. Despite the loose track bottoms they’re both wearing, Ben can feel David’s strong legs pressing against his, all the lean muscles and smooth angles that make him up, and he’s more turned on than he’s been in a long time. He grinds his hips down, rotating fully, and both men gasp as their erections press against each other for the first time. David arches up into him and Ben pushes down and oh, this is glorious, it truly is.

He pulls back from his exploration of David’s mouth, panting, to nuzzle at that long, lean neck, one hand still tangled up in that spiky hair, the other trapped underneath the Scotsman’s lean frame. David huffs out a laugh. “What?” Ben asks worriedly, his head jerking up so he can look down at David’s face properly.

“Just, you,” David says, beaming, and Ben relaxes. “Us. _This_.” He shakes his head. “Benedict I –“ and Ben nods his head in agreement. He hadn’t known either.

“I know,” he replies, not bothering to mask the wonder in his tone. And they sit there grinning stupidly at each other until David arches a brow and asks coyly, “Well? Weren’t you busy doing something?” He wiggles his own hips suggestively, fingers tightening on Ben’s simultaneously.

Ben arches a brow right back. “Or something,” he teases, voice rough, and slides his hand down the side of David’s face to cup a sharp cheekbone, the pad of his thumb moving gently across the freckled skin. “Or something,” he repeats more slowly, tone soft, and David tilts his head to press a tender kiss to Ben’s palm. His lips are warm, plumped up from their earlier snogging session and his eyes, still locked onto Ben’s, are warm too – smooth, chocolaty pools that should be too big for his face but somehow fit it perfectly. And maybe it’s the whiskey talking but Ben thinks that he has never seen David look so tender, so loving, as he does now, as he has tonight. _Not a surprise Benedict,_ he thinks wryly. _It’s not like you kissed him before tonight either._ Still, it’s gratifying to see such a look on David’s face and so he stares, drinking it all in.

“Och stop looking at me like that, you sap,” David orders finally, rolling his eyes, and suddenly his hands aren’t on Ben’s hips anymore, and are tugging down on Ben’s curls instead. Their lips smash together a little too hard but that’s okay, Ben thinks dazedly, because if there had been passion in their kisses before, well, this current one is kicking the mood from passionate to desperately messy and nearly pornographic. David splays his hands across Ben’s back even as Ben runs his hands down to peel up the edge of David’s tee. They break apart briefly as David sits up slightly and raises his arms, allowing Ben to work Yoda off his chest, and then the alien is on the floor and David is bare from the waist up. Not content to be the only half-naked one, he too works Ben’s shirt over his head and then Kermit is lying next to the ancient Jedi and he and David are pressed together once more. David’s chest is lightly dusted with a sprinkling of dark hair, unlike Ben’s, who has always been a bit on the hairless side. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter though, because having David’s naked torso pressed against his is pretty near perfect. He slides a large palm slowly across David’s collarbone and over his right pectoral, leaning down to retrace the same path with his tongue. David inhales sharply at the first touch of Ben’s tongue against his skin, then exhales slowly as Ben continues to work his way down his chest, letting out a low groan when Ben stops to swirl around his nipple. “ _Benedict_ ,” he finally gasps, his voice deep and rough with scotch and emotion, and Ben grins even as a shiver runs up his spine at the heat in the Scottish voice.

“Like that, huh,” he says teasingly, glancing up at David’s face. The older man’s eyes are closed, face tight with arousal.

“Something like that yes,” David replies heavily, stroking a narrow hand over Ben’s somewhat auburn curls.

“Looks like I’ll have to keep going then,” Ben says cheekily, and re-attaches himself to David’s chest. He brings one hand up to cover the other side, his thumb ghosting over a nipple, which proceeds to perk up under the attention, even as he continues to work his way down, pressing soft kisses against the warm torso until he reaches the waistband of David’s sweats. He pauses long enough to notice a definite twitch, then presses his nose right on the crotch, swiping his tongue along the clothed erection, mouthing along the hardened ridge. David gasps, breathy and deep all at once, his hand tightening in Ben’s curls, abs tensing. Ben continues to trace up and down the hard bulge, lips pressing, tongue flicking out occasionally to taste the cloth. He is enjoying this entirely too much.

“ _Benedict,_ ” David growls warningly.

“Impatient hmmm?” Ben mumbles against the damp fabric, and grins as his own question is answered when David twitches against his mouth. He brings his hands down to the waistband of David’s sweats and pulls down, suddenly, stupidly nervous as David lifts his hips up to help the downward progress of his clothing. Ben pulls back slightly and stares down at the newly revealed skin. _Well then. Helloooo gorgeous._ David is big, and getting bigger. Nestled in a dark nest of hair, his cock is already leaking and honestly, even though Ben’s never really been the type to fantasize about men, if he had describe his perfect partner, they would be endowed like this. He gazes down hungrily, visualizing what happens next.

“Ben?” comes David’s slightly worried voice a few moments later. “Everything okay? You’re not…” his voice trails off uncertainly. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

Dazedly Ben realizes that the whiskey has made him stare longer than he intended to. “No!” he exclaims, a bit too loudly. “Not at all.”

David lets out a sigh of relief. “Well then can you get on with it?” he asks exasperatedly.

Ben looks up at him, grinning. “It would be my pleasure,” he intones, and David’s pupils widen in arousal even as his cock jumps excitedly.

Ben takes a deep breath and then swoops down to take David in his mouth. The taste is salty and a bit bitter but overall it’s not actually as bad as Ben was expecting. He runs his tongue up and around, exploring, and is satisfied when David’s hand tightens in his hair in response. His hands have been lingering around David’s hips, but now he brings them down to stroke across the dark hair and the base of this thing he has in his mouth. His right hand anchors itself around David’s cock even as his left hand reaches under to gently tickle the other man’s balls. He starts to move his mouth up and down along the shaft, hollowing his cheeks to provide suction.

David lets out a long, low groan. “Benedict,” he moans, voice rough with arousal. “Oh my god, yes, please, don’t stop.”

 _Not bad for a novice Benedict_ , Ben thinks as he continues to slide along David’s length. His tongue flicks in to lap up the salt at the tip before circling back down and around the rounded head. His hands slide up and over David’s thighs to clasp his buttocks firmly as he increases the speed of his up and down movements.

David moans again, fingers clenching and un-clenching in Ben’s hair. Ben finds himself grinding his own hips against the fabric of the sofa even as his mouth continues to caress David’s length. Suddenly the hands on his head slide down and grasp onto his shoulders, tugging upward. Ben follows, lips sliding off with a wet, squelching sound, only to quickly be met by David’s mouth once again.

“Not fair for me to be having all the fun,” David gasps against Ben’s lips. Hands come up to dig into Ben’s arse, kneading and caressing. “Did I ever tell you your arse is a gift from the gods?” David murmurs against the corner of Ben’s mouth.

Ben can’t help but grin at the ridiculousness of that statement. He pulls back slightly. “No,” he rumbles. “You failed to mention that.”

“Well shame on me,” David says, hands still stroking and caressing the rounded curves. “Because it truly is.” He slides one hand down and begins to tug on the waistband of Ben’s sweats. Ben lifts his hips slightly to help the process along, just as eager to get to this stage of the liaison. David pulls and Ben wiggles, and together they somehow manage to work both his pants and sweats down his legs until he kicks them off with an impatient foot. The air feels cool on his now naked skin, but he barely has time to register that before a large hand is clasped firmly along his erection.

“Oh my god David,” he moans. “That feels…” _magnificent wonderful incredible_ – the words flash through his mind as he tries to find the voice to finish the thought.

“Shhhh,” David replies. “I know. But no more talking.”

Ben nods, closing his eyes as he gives in to the sensation of another man’s hand on his cock. It’s strange for it to be that big but not belong to him. It’s spectacular. And jesus fuck does David know what he’s doing. The movements are firm and twisting with just enough pressure. With one pad of his thumb he smears the viscous liquid leaking from the end of Ben’s cock up and down the shaft. Overcome with sensation, Ben’s hips begin to drop down toward David’s, but the Scotsman stops him with a quick hand on the waist.

“Can you stay arched for me?” he leans up to whisper in a gravelly voice. “I have an idea.”

Ben nods mutely. David traces the rim of Ben’s ear with his tongue and Ben shivers because the combination of the still on-going hand job and now this tongue action will probably be the death of him.

David chuckles deeply and gives a final lick before sliding down underneath Ben’s frame, hand sliding off Ben’s cock as his torso moves down. _Oh,_ Ben thinks stupidly. _So that’s where this is going._ He can’t say he’s opposed to the idea.

David presses an open-mouthed kiss to Ben’s abdomen, and then another, and another, tracing the very faint trail of hair extending from Ben’s belly-button down. His hot breath against Ben’s lower torso sends a delicious shiver up Ben’s spine and then suddenly it’s a different kind of warmth he’s being exposed to, as the hot wetness of David’s mouth closes around him. Dear jesus fuck does that feel amazing. The man seriously knows what he’s doing and Ben’s eyes roll back into his head as he gives himself up to the sensations below his waist. David’s dexterous tongue is doing wicked things along his length (Ben knows he will never ever look at that mouth the same way ever again), while his hands grip the younger man’s hips, anchoring them in place as he explores every nook and cranny of Ben’s groin. Ben’s chest feels tight with the breath he’s holding, and his arms are beginning to shake from the strain of holding himself up, but it’s worth it. He lets out a low groan as David licks up and down and into the smooth skin of his shaft. He can feel the tension building and knows that he won’t be able to last much longer. He’s torn between wanting David to finish him off _right now_ and wanting these feelings of arousal to go on forever.

It’s almost as if he’s spoken his dilemma aloud (fuck he didn’t did he?) because no sooner has the thought passed through his mind than David makes the decision for him by pushing up on his hips, freeing Ben’s cock from his mouth in the process. Ben’s eyes snap open and his gaze shifts downward, only to meet David’s impish grin.

“Well this is getting fun isn’t it,” he asks in a low voice, that wicked tongue peeking out from between his teeth. Ben barely has time to nod his agreement before he finds himself being flipped onto his back; David looms up into his field of vision, a hungry expression on his face, mouth slightly open in a pant, spiky hair askew atop his head. It’s a beautiful sight. His hips grind down into Ben’s and the feel of naked skin on naked skin is overwhelming. And then David’s mouth comes crashing back down to meet Ben’s full lips and Ben is utterly lost. Their tongues entwine as the unique taste of David and whiskey overtakes his senses once more. A strong arm snakes around and under Ben’s back and lifts, pressing their torsos even closer together even as the hand attached to the other arm reaches to fumble underneath the sofa cushion Ben’s head is resting on. Ben wonders vaguely what David is searching for but then all thoughts leave his head as the man above him begins to rub his fully nude body against Ben’s equally bare one. He gasps into David’s mouth as their twin erections glide against one another, again and again, slick with natural juices. If his body had been tensioned-filled before, it’s nothing to how he’s feeling now. He strains upwards, searching for that final release that has been hovering at the fringe of their interactions all night.

Suddenly David makes a noise against Ben’s mouth that sounds vaguely triumphant; he gives a quick nip goodbye to the cupid’s bow as he pulls away, raising his hand out from under Ben’s head (and the sofa cushion) at same time. A quick flick of the thumb and the sound of a lid clicking open tells Ben everything he needs to know and he feels lips twitch upward in a wry smile.

“I knew I’d stashed it somewhere down there,” David exclaims, his hips still rotating against Ben’s lower body. He’s breathing a bit heavily and Ben can’t blame him because he can hear and feel himself doing the same thing. A few moments later and Ben gives up on breathing completely because David’s slick hand is grasped around his length yet again. He writhes upward, pressing eagerly into the other man’s grip, moaning at the sensation. David lets out a groan of his own.

“Jesuussss Benedict,” he pants. His mouth crashes downward onto Ben’s and he licks his way back through the plump lips, his tongue tangling around Ben’s once more. His free hand is running up and down Ben’s torso, leaving tiny pinpricks of sensation. The hand pressed between their bodies lifts away but before Ben can even think to complain it’s back, this time stretching to wrap around both of their cocks, pressing the smooth hot skin together, slickened by the lube dripping down between David’s fingers. Ben bucks up into David’s lean body, his own arms coming up to wrap around that smooth back, letting David know with his hips that it’s time to finish this. They rut against one another, too far gone to worry about maintaining any sort of rhythm. With all the foreplay that’s happened tonight, Ben knows it’s not going to take much more for him to come. His fingers dig into David’s shoulder blades, flexing in time with his jerky thrusts upward. David’s grip is hot and tight and perfect; his body is perfect too, pressing down onto Benedict with just the right amount of pressure.

David’s mouth moves off of Ben’s onto his neck. He nibbles and sucks, tongue flicking out to taste the salty skin of the man underneath him, breath coming in hot pants as he writhes in a frenzied rhythm. Muscles tightening, Ben can feel the climax approaching. And then David leans over and growls “Come _on_ Benedict," deep and throaty in his ear, moving the pad of his thumb over the tip of Ben’s cock at the same time, and Benedict is gone in white hot flash of light against his eyelids. His whole body stiffens and he cries out into the neck of the man above him.

“My god – Ben, Ben, you’re so beautiful and I can’t, I’m…” David half gasps, half moans and then that long lithe body is tightening and Ben feels a hot wetness spreading across his stomach. There is a moment where both men are paused in ecstasy, before Ben sinks bonelessly into the sofa cushions and David collapses atop him. Their hearts pound wildly against one another, the hot, sweaty skin sticking in all the right places. David’s nose is pressed back into Ben’s neck, his lips in an open caress, while Ben’s hands are sliding up and down David’s back with smooth, loving strokes. They stay quiet, too afraid to break the post-coital spell with meaningless words. Ben’s eyes are still closed – he listens to sound of their nearly synchronized breaths and smiles. So evenly matched, even now.

David lets out a sigh and shifts his hips to the side – his legs tangle with Ben’s even as he snuggles further down into the space between Ben’s head and shoulder. Ben shifts slightly to the side to accommodate this change in position and thinks drowsily that they should probably clean up. Or something. He’s suddenly exhausted however and the last thing he remembers thinking before the darkness overtakes him is that he can’t remember the last time he was this happy.

******

There’s a hand on his shoulder and cold air above his body. Wait, that isn’t right – wasn't there another person there before?

“Ben,” a gentle voice is saying. “Benedict, love, wake up.”

He slowly opens his eyes to find David gazing down at him, a tender smile on his face. “Hey there,” he whispers, voice rough with sleep.

“Hey yourself,” David replies, before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Ben grins and returns the kiss. So it hadn’t been a drunken fantasy after all.

David pulls away with a sigh. “God, I could kiss you all night,” he says.

“You won’t hear me complaining,” Ben replies with a grin.

David grins back. “We need to get cleaned up first. And what do you say to moving this party to a real bed. I’m too old to be crashing on sofas anymore.”

Ben raises his arms up over his head, pointing his toes as he flexes his torso upward in a stretch before sitting up, wincing as his shoulder twinges uncomfortably. “Sounds good to me,” he replies.

David stands from where he has been kneeling by the sofa and extends a hand. “Come on,” he says softly.

Their hands clasp and Ben lets David lead him from the room, hitting the lights on their way out, totally un-bothered by the fact that they are both starkers.

“Stop staring at my arse Cumberbatch,” David grumbles as they move into the lowly lit hallway.

“Not a chance Tennant,” Ben retorts. He leans forward and gives that delectable arse a light smack. David yelps and turns around with a glare. Ben just leers at him and even though he tries to stop it, David can’t hold back his laughter.

“You are impossible,” he says fondly, shaking his head.

Ben beams. “And that’s why you love me,” he jokes.

David’s face falters for a moment and Ben realizes he’s crossed some sort of line without knowing it. But then David is turning around waving a hand in the air and saying, “Don’t you wish,” and Ben breathes a sigh of relief for not fucking things up. _Too soon Ben,_ he scolds himself. This is their first night together and things aren’t exactly _un_ complicated…so there’s no reason to go confusing the situation even more. _Don’t think about any of that right now Benedict. That comes tomorrow. Tonight is for you and David to enjoy yourselves and fuck the consequences._

“Well, here we are,” David says suddenly, snapping Ben out of his downward thought spiral. They are in a larger than average bedroom, complete with a larger than average bed. “Bathroom’s that way,” he says, pointing toward a frosted glass door to the left. “You can have the first shower or whatever."

Ben looks toward the door, then back at David. “Care to join me?” he asks cheekily, arching a brow. “It would be faster...”

David just stares at him, then shakes his head in wry resignation. “I’m not sure about that but, okay.”

Ben grins in triumph as he walks over to the frosted glass door and pulls it open. He pats the wall for the light switch and flips it on.

“But no funny business alright?” David calls from near the bed. “I’m too drunk to stand up straight in the shower,” he continues, mumbling more to himself than to Ben.

“Of course dear,” Ben drawls, and is rewarded when David snorts inelegantly.

He leans over and studies the taps in the tub, blinking slowly as his vision suddenly blurs. He feels dizzy, lightheaded – maybe he’s still drunker than he thought too. Dammit now there really will be no funny business. _The morning Ben. Definitely in the morning._

“You doing alright in here?” a voice says worriedly, unexpectedly close. Ben jumps, precariously close to losing his balance. Strong hands grip his hips and pull him backward and up until he’s resting against a lean chest. Long arms wrap around his torso in a firm embrace.

“Easy there young ‘un,” David cautions, voice warm in Ben’s ear. “What is it with you and staring at things tonight? First it was my cock, and I have to tell you, that was a bit worrying and flattering all at once. But this is a bathtub. And unless you’ve got some very strange kinks, I can’t quite understand it.” He pauses. “Or maybe it’s because my faucets are so pretty. I just had them replaced and I do quite like the design, but still.” He’s trying not to laugh amidst the rambling and Ben can hear it threading though the rough tones, instilling a sort of affection that Ben appreciates even if he’s the brunt of the joke.

“I’m still feeling a bit lightheaded,” Ben admits, earning a sympathetic squeeze from the man behind him. Then the first part of what David said registers.

“ _Young ‘un_?” Ben retorts in mock outrage, turning his body to face David. He’s met with a brilliant flash of white as David grins at him. Standing face to face like this, he’s reminded of their embrace at the theatre earlier that night. It feels like a lifetime ago. This close, he can see the flecks of gold glinting in David’s big brown eyes, the crow’s feet at the corners evidence of a lifetime of laughter, the freckles lightly sprinkled across his nose. His hair is even sexier than usual (Ben wonders vaguely how that’s even possible), all twisted and clumpy atop his head. He is so beautiful and Ben feels overwhelmed that this man, this gorgeous, wonderful man, wants him, the skinny ginger with the weirdly shaped face and the even weirder name.

“Ben?” David questions softly, and Ben realizes too late that some of his thoughts must have flashed across his face.

“It’s nothing,” he says sheepishly, a bit embarrassed. His gaze flits away from those expressive eyes to study the tile beneath their feet.

“Hey –“ the Scottish burr continues even as a long-fingered hand comes up to cup his jaw, tilting it upward. “Look at me?” David asks quietly.

Ben’s eyes sweep back up to David’s face and the concern there makes him catch his breath. They stare at each other for a long moment before David leans forward to press a soft kiss against the corner of Ben’s mouth. “It’s gonna be alright,” he whispers, and Ben nods. He leans into David’s embrace, bringing his arms up to wrap around David’s waist. They stand there, breathing each other in, gathering strength, trying not to think about tomorrow.

David is the first to pull away. “Shower time,” he says brightly, trying to lighten the mood. “If we hold each other up and don’t stay in there too long, we should be fiinnne.”

Ben laughs. “You say that now…” he teases, then steps over the rim of the tub as David turns the tap on. The water comes cascading down like a waterfall, warm and inviting. Ben tilts his head up and lets it pour over him, washing away the sweat and other substances that have dried onto his skin. Ahhh, much better. Eyes closed, he lets his mind drift into thoughts about what might happen after they’re done in the shower.

The nudge of a hip breaks his reverie. “Oi come on, my turn now,” David says impatiently. “No way I’m letting you use up all the hot water.”

Ben grumbles but allows himself to be moved into the back half of the tub as David takes his place under the streaming water. He lets out a groan. “Gods that feels divine,” he moans.

And it might be horribly inappropriate but Ben can’t stop the twitch his cock gives in response to the obscene noises coming from the man standing in front of him. David’s eyes are closed, thankfully, so Ben doesn’t have to try to cover anything up. Not that it would be a problem, really, given what they had gotten up to on the sofa; still, given that they are both still a little wobbly, it really wouldn’t be smart to start anything in this slippery environment.

Then David throws his head back, baring his neck as he runs his hands through his hair, water sluicing down over the sharp angles of his face and the smooth curve of his throat, and all of Ben’s good intentions go out the window. _This man is a bloody menace,_ Ben thinks dazedly. Caution be damned – when presented with a morsel like this, how can any sane man resist?

He moves forward into the spray and presses a kiss right to the bump in David’s beautiful throat, splaying his hands across David’s sharp hipbones and aligning their lower bodies in one smooth motion. David gasps and Ben grins. He moves his hands down and around to the smooth globes of David’s rather spectacular arse and squeezes.

“Benedict, what…” David says dazedly.

“Did I ever tell you,” Ben rumbles, “that you have a rather spectacular arse as well?”

David shakes his head mutely and Ben chuckles. “Well you do,” he continues, his hands stroking up and down, tracing the curves. His mouth begins to move slowly downward, dropping kisses across the planes of David’s chest.

“Benedict,” David warns. “Not that I don’t enjoy this, but what happened to ‘no funny business?’”

Ben raises his head to look up at David from mid-chest height, blinking at the droplets of water streaming into his face. “ _You_ happened,” he says exasperatedly. “You’re a bloody menace to my peace of mind, with your long legs and your stupid sex hair and your big eyes and your sinuous neck and your sexy arse.” He punctuates his sentence with a long lick across David’s rib cage before glancing upward once more. “And then you go and stand there like it’s a bloody waterfall and you’re a bloody siren doing sexy poses on a rock and well, that’s really the last straw, isn’t it? No way I can stop myself from doing this now.” And before David can blink he drops to his knees and takes David’s cock in his mouth.

David yelps and then moans as Ben’s tongue swirls around him. Despite his protestations of ‘no funny business’, he must have quite enjoyed the view when Ben was in the water, because he’s already half hard, and getting harder. The cascading water runs down over them both, endless rivulets caressing their skin. Ben’s hands are still stroking David’s backside; testing a theory, Ben traces long fingers through the cleft of the round cheeks until the tip of one comes to rest against a puckered hole. David tenses and grabs the questioning hand.

“Later,” he promises, and Ben nods, retreating lower to cup David’s balls. He rolls them gently against his palm and David hisses in response. Ben’s mouth is still exploring David’s length – licking and sucking and sliding, testing for depth and style.

“Fuck,” David groans. “Your mouth, yes, please, don’t stop that, jesus _FUCK_ Ben,” and Ben would grin if he wasn’t otherwise occupied. Dirty talk and David is one of the hottest combinations he’s ever been exposed to and he wants to keep him going for eternity. The tip of his tongue works its way into the slit at David’s head and laps at the salty substance it finds there. He brings up a hand to slide along the rest, long fingers wrapping gently around the hot, wet skin. He strokes slowly, smoothly, twisting briefly as he approaches his mouth before retreating and starting the rhythm over. He can feel David’s thighs tensing as he continues this absolute worship of David’s cock, this slow tortuous slide into oblivion.

“Ben, I’m –“ comes David’s hoarse whisper, barely audible over the noise of the shower. He tries to pull away and Ben pushes him back with one hand on that delicious arse. He shakes his head and David pats his curls shakily in recognition of the deed he’s about to perform. Ben picks up the pace, knowing David is close; his lips cover almost half of David’s cock now as it slides in and out of his hot, wet mouth.

“Benedict my god fuck yes right there oh fuck I’m –“ and suddenly Ben’s mouth is full of a silky salty substance and David’s entire body is tight with tense energy, pulsating and quivering as his climax overwhelms him. Ben swallows, and swallows, nostrils flaring for air under the still constant stream of water flowing down all around them. He pulls away slightly to catch his breath and then suddenly finds himself on his back, looking up at the sexy Scottish bloke who is crawling up his body.

“ _I’m_ a menace?” David says, staring down at Ben intently. “ _I’m_ a bloody menace?” His voice rises on the second question as Ben stares back up at him, a bit dazed at the sudden shift in perspective.

David leans down until his lips are mere inches from Ben’s. “No, Benedict,” he growls, and Ben’s cock does some jumping of its own. “Your _mouth_ is the fucking menace.” He leans down to lick at said body part. “So“ – his tongues leaves a wet trail down Ben’s lower lip – “kissable. So“ – he nips at the corner of Ben’s mouth – “fuckable. Those big plush lips” – a long finger traces the upper ridge of Ben’s cupid’s bow – “just begging to take you in and suck you” – he gives another nip to the offending skin. “Your mouth is perfect for sucking me off and you know it,” he finishes.

Ben whimpers in agreement and David shoots him a feral grin in response, tongue tracing a path along his own thinner, but no less succulent lips. Of their own accord, Ben’s hips jerk in response, his erection straining upward, begging to be touched. David glances down, finally acknowledging Ben’s state of arousal. “Oh,” he says wickedly, arching a brow. “Well that just won’t do.” Quick as lightning he slides along the Englishman’s body and swallows Ben down to the root. Ben gives a cry at the sudden onslaught of tight, wet heat.

“David oh fuck, Christ, how,” he moans, eyes fluttering shut, hands clenching into fists as the sensations overwhelm him. David says nothing but it’s okay – his mouth is being put to much better use as it moves up and down, tongue swirling electrical paths of heat along Ben’s length.

“I’m not, I won’t –“ Ben tries to gasp and David pats his hip in acknowledgement, but doesn’t stop his ministrations. His cheeks hollow one final time and seconds later Ben’s climax is upon him – he arches up off the smooth bathtub floor, body tight, tendons popping as the fireworks go off behind his eyelids once again. He sinks back onto the wet floor as David leaves with a wet _pop_. Ben opens his eyes to find David sitting back on his haunches, gazing at Ben with a fond smile.

“So…” Ben begins, and David’s lips spread wider, teeth flashing.

“That went well I think,” he finishes, and Ben laughs.

“You mad wanker,” he says, sitting up and pulling David in for a quick kiss. “Can we go dry off now? I’m exhausted.” And he really was. They couldn’t have been asleep on the sofa that long and it had been a trying day.

“Hey I’m not the one who decided mutual blowjobs in the shower was a good idea,” David protests, then ruins the moment with a wink. “Not complaining of course, but we could have been dry a long time ago if it wasn’t for you and your lack of self-control.”

“What can I say? You’re gorgeous and irresistible,” Ben replies with a sleepy smile. David takes another look at him and stands up, switching the water off at the same time.

“Right, Mr. Cumberbatch, bed time for you. You’re absolutely knackered.” He holds out a hand and Ben grabs ahold of it, wincing as he stands, muscles he’d forgotten he possessed twitching in protest.

“I’ll say one thing – it will be nice to be in a proper bed for once,” Ben comments as David hands him a towel before grabbing one for himself.

“Suppose so,” David laughs, rubbing himself dry. They stand in companionable silence, intent on finishing their tasks.

“Right then, off to bed,” David says finally, running the towel one last time though his hair. He pads through the doorway, yawning. “Hit the light yeah?”

“Of course dear,” Ben replies wryly. The creak of bedsprings and the soft rustle of fabric as David settles in is his only response. Ben runs the towel over his curls one last time before hanging it on the door and flicking off the bathroom lights. He pauses in the doorway, drinking in the picture of David lying on his side on the far side of the bed, sheets pulled up to his chin, hair fringe spread across the pillow. _You gorgeous gorgeous man,_ he thinks fondly, walking over to flick the bedroom light off before moving to the empty side of the bed. He slides beneath the covers and David immediately scoots closer, feet pressing onto Ben’s calves even as his arm sprawls across Ben’s torso.

“Hey there,” David whispers.

Ben chuckles. “Hey yourself,” he whispers back. A pause. “Why are we whispering again?” he asks, still in a low tone.

David shakes his head. “I, uh, don’t know,” he admits, in a normal register, and Ben laughs. “It seemed to fit the mood, shush,” David warns, with a hint of a laugh himself.

“You, David Tennant, are a crazy bastard,” Ben says with a grin.

“And you, Benedict Cumberbatch, are an even crazier one,” David replies.

“And that’s why we’re so great together.” Ben presses a quick kiss against those delicious lips before turning over and shifting back up against David’s long body. “Goodnight friend,” he says softly, closing his eyes.

David lets out a sigh and tightens his grip on Ben’s waist. “Goodnight…friend,” he replies, equally low. Lips brush against Ben’s neck, soon to be replaced by the steady even wafts of breath. _This is so nice,_ Ben sighs, and drifts off to sleep.

******

He wakes up with a strong need to piss. _Should have gone after the shower Benedict,_ he thinks, irritated by having to get up before he’s fully awake. He opens his eyes slowly, expecting bright sunshine, but judging by the low amount of light in the room it’s barely dawn. David has shifted slightly toward the other side of the bed but his arm is still resting heavily on Ben’s hip. Gingerly Ben grabs his hand and lifts, sliding out to set his feet on the floor. David snuffles and burrows his face more deeply into the pillow, but seems otherwise undisturbed, and Ben breathes a sigh of relief. One of them should get some uninterrupted sleep. He tiptoes over to the loo and takes care of business, choosing to not flush the toilet for the time being. Too noisy. He washes and dries his hands and proceeds to tiptoe back to the bed. David is still lying face down, but his head has tilted to the side so his breathing isn’t completely impaired. Ben looks down at him, this kind, caring, beautiful man who means so much, and feels like absolute shit. He wishes he could avoid the messy complications, but it’s the morning now and he’s completely sobered up, so they won’t be put off any longer. _Alright Benedict,_ he thinks, taking a deep breath. _Time to face the facts._

Fact number one – he is still involved with Olivia, even if they’re on a break. Thinking about her fills his heart with a confusing mixture of guilt, sadness and love. Because he still does love her. She’s been a part of him for so long that he’s not sure he will ever get over loving her, no matter what happens between them. But that doesn’t exclude fact number two.

Fact number two – he likes David. Like, really really really likes David. _You love him too,_ the small voice in his head whispers, but Ben ignores it. The man is smart, talented, caring, funny and fucking amazing in bed. And bonus – David apparently really really likes him back. _You mean_ _loves you,_ the voice contradicts. Ben ignores that as well.

Fact number three – It wouldn’t be fair to Olivia to accelerate her ‘we need a break’ to ‘by the way, I’m breaking up with you because I had a one night stand with David Tennant and it was amazing’. It just wouldn’t be.

Fact number four – It wouldn’t be fair to David to ask him to wait until Ben gets everything sorted out. Would it? Could he ask this man to put his romantic life on hold while Ben got his whole shitty life in order?

Fact number five – Ben isn’t even sure he wants to jump into another relationship right now. Even if he and Olivia do break up, he’s not sure he can handle the stress of more long distance, especially with a man as busy as David is.

Ben covers his face with his hands and shakes his head. What a fucking mess. _You knew it would be like this and you still did it,_ that little voice in his head scolds. _Now get a grip and grow up_. A hand on his thigh startles him from his thoughts.

“Ben?” comes David’s sleepy voice. “Are you coming back to bed? It’s cold without you here.”

Ben sits down on the edge of the bed and strokes a large hand over David’s soft hair. “I’m not sure love,” he says, hesitating slightly. “I-”

David tenses, then lets out a long sigh. “I was hoping to get one more shag in before we had this conversation, but, never mind,” he says tersely, lifting his head and sitting up.

Ben shoots him a startled look and David replies with a wry smile. “What? I’m not stupid. I know you Ben – you have a conscience and I knew sooner or later it would kick in. I was just feeling selfish enough to take everything I could get for as long as I had you.”

“David,” Ben begins, then swallows, hard. “David, I –“

David opens his mouth to reply, but snaps it closed again as Ben holds up a hand.

“Just, let me get this out please,” he beseeches, and David nods tightly.

He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, then lifts his head up to meet David’s chocolately gaze. “I’m a mess,” he admits. “But then again, you already knew that.” David’s lips quirk upward as Ben continues, eyes shifting. “I’m…not over Olivia. I’m not even sure I’m ready to move on from her, emotionally. We’ve just been together so long that I can’t even imagine who I am without her, and even if she and I don’t work out, I feel like I need to find myself again before I can commit to another person.” He raises his now teary eyes to meet David’s gaze. “And you deserve so much more David. So much more than this broken, emotionally stunted person you see before you. I can’t be the man you need right now, and the worst part is, I don’t know how long it will be before I can.” He reaches out and clasps one of David’s hands in his own, staring down and stroking a thumb idly over the other man’s knuckles as he continues to talk. “I think this, whatever _this_ is we have between us, is something I’ve been repressing for a long time,” he muses, and David lets out a shaky breath. “In spite of that, or maybe even because of it, you’ve always been so special, such a good friend, and I don’t want to ruin this _thing_ by rushing into it before I’m ready, no matter how tempting it is.” He gives a short, bitter laugh. “And oh god is it tempting, especially now that I know how amazing in bed you are.”

David laughs at this, but it’s a choked sort of sound, and Ben looks up to find the older man watching him with red-rimmed eyes, lips pressed firmly in a line.

“Benedict Cumberbatch,” he finally says, resigned affection evident despite the tightness of his voice. “How can I be angry with you after that speech? How could anyone?” (Ben can think of plenty of people who would have punched him by this point, but he stays quiet, sensing that David has more to say).

“Bloody annoying though, having to compete with that hero complex,” he continues, voice cracking. “Why couldn’t I have fallen for someone who, who...” His words falter and he takes a deep breath, shaking his head in frustration. “Well, someone completely available would have been nice,” he finishes, falling far short of sarcastic tone he’s aiming for.

Ben huffs out a strained laugh. “I know. But apparently life doesn’t work that way.” He shakes his head. “God David, I..” His voice trails off as he realizes he doesn’t know what to say. He opens his mouth to apologize again, but stops when he sees David’s thunderous expression.

“Don’t, just – don’t,” David warns flatly. “I’m willing to wait Ben, god knows I’ve waited long enough, but knowing how you taste and sound and feel makes things a bit more…difficult.” He brings their joined hands to his lips and kisses them tenderly. “How can I stand to remember this, knowing that I’m never going to kiss you again?”

Ben nods his head in wordless agreement. He’s been wondering the same thing.

David lifts his head with an imploring look. “But how can I bear to forget it, knowing that it’s simply better than anything else I’ve ever experienced?” His lip starts to tremble and he hurriedly ducks his head away, but not before a single tear drips onto the hands he is still holding close to his chest.

That is the final straw. Ben lunges forward across the bed and holds him tightly, beginning to cry himself. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he whispers over and over into David’s hair as that thin frame shakes with silent sobs. “David oh god I am so incredibly sorry and I wish I could change this.” David’s hands clench and unclench around the sheet until after several minutes he finally quiets and pulls back from Ben’s embrace, wiping his eyes.

“Bet you never expected your one night stand to end like this, hmm?” he tries to joke, failing miserably.

Ben wants to take David’s face in his hands and kiss him and tell him that he’s so much more than a one night stand, that that’s the reason why he can’t take it any further today, that he’s thinking of the future, of their future. But he doesn’t.

“Not exactly, no,” he tries to joke back, also failing miserably.

David looks up at him with a surprisingly settled expression. “I can’t wait forever you know,” he says softly. “I’m not getting any younger and I’ve always wanted children, and a family.”

Ben nods. “I know.” He takes a deep breath. “One last kiss? To friendship and love and all that nonsense?” He gives a shaky laugh and looks at David expectantly, trying not to show how disappointed he’ll be if David says no.

David looks across at him and dips his head slowly. “Okay,” he agrees.

Their lips meet tenderly, merely pressing against each other at first, but quickly sliding into messier, passionate territory. Benedict pours everything they’ve said and everything they haven’t said into the kiss and David does the same, both not wanting to think about the possibility that this is the last kiss they will ever share. Ben presses David back down onto the bed and kisses him and licks into his mouth and tastes that hint of whiskey that he loves so much. Their hands lock into sets against the headboard and Ben grinds down, caught up in the moment. The other man plunges his tongue into Ben’s mouth, desperately grappling for connection. He moans and arches upward and they gasp as their erections slide together. Suddenly, David clasps a hand on the back of Ben’s neck and pulls away, breaking contact. “Benedict,” he says, and there’s something about the tone of his voice that makes Ben pause.

“Yes?” he asks, concerned, taking deep breaths to try and quell his wildly racing heartbeat.

“Would you -” David stops, shakes his head. He takes a deep breath and tries again. “I…need you.”

“Sorry?” Ben says, confused.

“I want you to fuck me,” David finally states, a determined look on his face.

“What?” Ben gasps, more than a little surprised. “David, no I couldn’t, not after everything we just said, not after -”

“Please Benedict,” David pleads, the last of his barely regained composure gone, brown eyes huge in his flushed face. “Do this, for me. You inside me; I’ve wanted it for so long and I don’t think I’m ever going to get another chance. I know what we just said and agreed to but I need this now. So please, Benedict. _Please_. Give me this one last thing.” His voice is low and gravelly but broken in a way that requires Ben to do everything in his power to fix it. This man should never sound like that.

Ben eyes squeeze shut and he thinks about Olivia, about David, about his future with both of them or neither of them. Re-opening his eyes, his gaze returns to David’s and what he sees in those big brown eyes almost breaks his heart. He takes a deep breath and leans down to rest his forehead against David’s. “Okay,” he agrees softly. He can give them this final gift.

David lets out a whimper of relief. “Are you clean?” he asks. “I am – just got tested last week.”

“I am,” Ben replies, and David’s face lights up.

“Would you mind – “ he starts, and Ben grins, albeit a bit shakily. “Not at all,” he says. “Lube?”

“Bedside table.”

Ben shifts over to slide open the drawer – there is indeed lube inside, and Ben grabs it before turning back to David. “Do you need to –“ he begins.

“No I’m already prepared,” David replies quickly. Ben shoots him a look. “You weren’t the only one who had to wake up to piss this morning,” he says with a shrug. “I decided to be optimistic as long as I was up.”

Ben shakes his head. This man. “You are a treasure,” he says affectionately, and rolls back on top of that long lean body. “Now, where were we,” he murmurs, bringing a hand up to stroke David’s face.

David’s eyes fall close and he sighs. “Here is nice,” he murmurs back.

Ben uncaps the lube and squeezes some into his right hand. He slowly runs the open palm up the inside of David’s thigh and pokes a finger into the cleft to tease the entrance. The lube is slick against his fingers and there’s a fluttering in his stomach that nothing to do with sex and everything to do with David. He presses his mouth against David’s neck and sucks gently, his hand continuing to ghost along the other man’s groin and buttocks. The lithe body underneath him writhes, desperate for more contact. Ben is determined to take this slow however. He squeezes lube onto David’s abdomen and runs his hand through it, thoroughly coating the fingers in the substance. They dance through the apex of David’s thighs, teasing over his erection, brushing over his testicles until finally returning to the puckered entrance. Ben lifts his head up and leans over to whisper in David’s ear. “Shall I?” he asks darkly.

“Yes, oh god, Benedict, yes,” David moans, and as the tip of Ben’s finger breaches that tight ring of muscle the moan increases in volume.

“Benedict, god,” David gasps encouragingly.

“Patience love,” Ben whispers back. “It’s been awhile for me, and we have time.”

David’s head is thrown back against the pillows, his arms flung to either side, his hips up and knees bent apart to allow Ben access. Flushed cheeks and heaving chest add to the picture-perfect scene and Ben looks down at this man and suddenly can’t breathe. _You are gorgeous and right now, in this moment, you are mine,_ Ben thinks fiercely. _Entirely. Mine._ He slips his finger out and straightens David’s legs, causing those big eyes to pop back open. “What –“

“Turn over,” Ben commands, and a relieved smile flashes across David’s face. He rotates so that he is lying on his stomach, face smashed into the pillow.

“Gonna have to steal those I’m afraid,” Ben warns before grabbing all the pillows and piling them beneath his lover’s hips.

“I don’t mind,” David replies cheekily, and Ben gives his bum a light tap in response. He ignores David’s squawk of protest and grabs more lube, re-coating his fingers; it never hurts to be extra careful. His index finger slides back in easily and after a few pumps he adds another. He can feel David’s tight heat stretching around him and he begins to scissor, steadily sliding in and out.

“Benedict,” David groans against the bed. “My god, your fingers feel incredible. So long and strong, I’m so, I can’t… “ He struggles to find words before giving up and returning to heavy panting against the sheets.

“They look even more incredible,” Ben pants. “Sliding in and out of your perfectly pale and firm arse, god, I could do this all day.” He adds another digit and David gasps again, stretching to allow access. Then Ben has a brilliant idea. He slides a pillow out from under David’s hips and leans down, parting David’s legs enough to work his ball sac through the empty space. He fondles it gently with his free hand and then takes it into his mouth, rolling the soft skin and its precious occupants around on his tongue.

“Fuck. Benedict,” David whimpers. “I’ve never…jesus, what are you doing.” Ben’s tongue is busy, caressing and licking the salty skin. He lets one ball fall from his mouth, rolling the other between his plump lips. He presses his nose further into the crevice and inhales the musky scent. Delicious.

“Ben oh god, please stop, I’m going to – but I want to – you in me, please,” David begs and Ben takes pity and lets him go. He slides his fingers out and reaches for the lube bottle once again. His own cock is hard, pre-come leaking from its tip, and he aches to be inside this glorious man.

“Time to flip again,” Ben orders, and after a slight pause, David complies. Ben slathers generous amounts of lube up and down and along his shaft and looks down at the man below him. He is flushed all over his entire body, hair wild, with beads of sweat rolling down his brow. He looks back up at Ben with those wide wide eyes, panting. “You are so stunning David,” Ben says softly. “So incredibly stunning and I just want you to know that I don’t regret a single moment of our time together over the last half day or so. Not a single minute.”

“Me either Benedict,” David says quietly, a slight tremor in his voice. “Despite the consequences. You, you are everything I've always dreamed about, and these hours have meant the world to me.”

They stare at each other for a few tension-filled moments more, and then suddenly words aren’t enough. Ben lifts one of David’s legs up to rest on his shoulder and guides his shaft to the entrance. He begins to push in, slowly, giving David time to adjust to this larger girth. David grunts, eyes squeezed shut and Ben turns his head to kiss his leg even as his hands reach out and find David’s, clasping them together once more. David’s eyes fly open and upward and meet Ben’s as that first ring of muscle is finally breached. Ben continues to read David’s face as he pushes further and further in. _My god this is incredible,_ David says, those expressive eyes doing all the talking. Ben begins to slide out and back in, in and back out, building up a steady rhythm. And all the while David never breaks eye contact. He feels so incredibly tight and hot and Ben can’t help how his hips are increasing the pace of their movements, despite his desire to take it slow. The two of them are in their own little bubble, the world is nothing but him and David in this bed, sweating and bucking into each other, and it’s beautiful. He can feel himself getting close but he wants David to come before he does, so he breaks one of the pairs of their clasped fingers to reach down and begin stroking David’s thick cock, which has been lying heavy on its owner’s abdomen. David’s free hand follows him and then they are clasped together once more, this time around David’s erection. They stroke in time with Ben’s thrusts and David’s eyes finally roll back in his head as he gives in to the sensation.

“Benedict, you are, so incredible and I’m, I’m so close,” he pants. His eyes snap open. _I love you,_ he says desperately.

“So are you and so am I,” Ben replies heavily. _I love you too,_ he cries. _So much._

Their gaze tightens and they nod in unison. _Together,_ David says. _Together_ , Ben agrees _._ As they prepare to jump off this cliff, Ben leans down for one last desperate kiss, David arches to meet him and this, this kiss, in this moment, this is the best one they’ve ever had because it has the bittersweet taste of goodbye. Look at us, it says. Look what we have. Look what we could have been. Isn’t it wonderful?

_The End_

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to check me out on [Tumblr](http://benaddicted4life.tumblr.com), if you wish. Thanks so much for reading. Comments/feedback much appreciated! xx


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